biting elephants

Before I got pregnant, I used to go to Bikram Yoga (where you do yoga in a hideously hot room). A nurse one time asked me what I did for exercise and I told her I was doing “Hot Yoga”, and she looked at me, deadpan, and asked, “Is that like, with a pole?” She was a little older, and it was pretty funny. Anyway, I remember really enjoying it right up until I had to run out and throw up in the middle of a session. All of your things were stored inside of the yoga room (keys, purse) and I needed to go back in to get them to go home, but the woman at the front desk wouldn’t let me, and she encouraged me to go back in because I guess it was very important to make it to savasana. I remember looking at her and pleading, “But I just threw up my lunch! I really don’t want to go do yoga right now.” I had to sit in the hallway for an hour until everyone was done with class to get my things and go home.

After that, I didn’t want to go back to yoga, but I went. I remember feeling anxious about it because I would think, “How am I going to make it through 90 minutes?” I would have done better if I had simply thought about making it through to the first break, then the second, and through the end of class. I don’t go anymore, because it was fun while it lasted, but I think that I learned something with the way that I approached the classes. I did better when I thought about it in small segments, rather than thinking about each class in its entirety.

I think goals are good, they help us be productive, they give us something to look forward to. When they become counterproductive is when we think about them on too large of a scale. I did this today when I realized I needed to clean the kitchen, bathroom, do laundry, workout, and after thinking about doing all of that, I sat down on the couch exhausted. I struggle with the same thing when I think about getting into shape after pregnancy. “I would like be able to run a marathon by the end of the month. And I’m not a runner.”

I love the silly riddle, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” I have a tendency to get ahead of myself, instead of thinking in terms of small changes, little goals. So thats it. I’m changing my whole way of thinking right now. (Get it? :))

But really, I think it will be good for me to try to start thinking in terms of smaller goals, and getting Tony to buy me giant presents when I reach them.

Well, at least the goal thing I can do.