Keeping up Appearances

The blog looks pretty unkempt right about now. Apparently hackers broke into my theme and inserted links they hoped people would click on like, “Bill Cosby travels to China, check it out!”. I’m completely serious. So I have a little bit of work to do clearing out the theme and making it pretty again.

Speaking of appearances…I feel like I mostly post out of my messy, very real places. I write about things that I struggle with, hoping someone can relate and that they will feel less alone, and because articulating it in writing usually helps me process. And though relating doesn’t necessarily solve things, it always helps to know someone else thinks the same things, and that in itself can help you move forward. Or just feel less alone while you’re by yourself drinking your morning coffee waiting for your kids to wake up. Which I’m still doing. I’m actually just waiting on Bryce, Addie has been up since dawn, but man, can that boy sleep. He’s just storing energy to he can climb on tables, chairs, into sinks, and laugh while my heart stops 18 times a day.

So heres my thought for today. While I mostly wanted to post to apologize for how beastly the blog looks, it got me thinking about the image we want to project to people.

I think that I’m normally great with people thinking I’m a work in progress, but I still want to appear to have it mostly together. To have my house look super clean and cute when you come over. To appear not to worry about what people think, if someone likes me or (eegads!) doesn’t, or thinks I’m doing a good job, whatever that means, but my head still thinks it.

What God has been trying to tell me this year, and it gets projected louder and louder each time I struggle with this (I’m pretty sure He has resorted to yelling, in the most loving way possible, at this child he adores), is that His voice is the one that needs to be the loudest, not all of the other voices I look to for approval, even pastors. He is the one who will tell me how I’m doing, where I need to go. I’m looking to drown out all of the other voices, until His is the one I hear most clearly, and look to most often.

On that note, I just heard a thud coming from Bryce’s room. I’m assuming he just threw a book, but I’m going to go make sure he hasn’t hurled himself.