October Night

It’s a dark, windy, and kind of rainy October Night. In other words, it’s perfect. I’m drinking hot apple cider, sprinkled with spiced rum, and I’m looking at this:

Addie’s in bed, happily on her part, snuggled with Elmo and Puppy and Pillow and Blanket (and Bunny and Monkey x 2). Tony’s doing his homework for mens bible study in the morning, and all of this is good because its been a high traffic day. In my head at least.

I’ve been thinking alot today about where I’d like us to end up when we move. Its not a high priority decision, as we don’t have to move today, but I’ve been tossing between being in the middle of nowhere, which makes me feel peaceful and calm, and practical living situations that are close to Tony’s work. As far as tonights concerned, not a big deal at all. In the grand scheme of me though, it kind of is. And here’s why.

I think we can mold to what we are around sometimes, and get away from what makes us us. It’s easy when you’re in the hustle and bustle to feel like thats what makes you tick, and thats what you like, because thats where you are. If you’re in the city, you feel like you need to play the part. You start to dress a little more fashionably, decorate a little differently, stay busy and stay in the swing of things. We move faster since we have moved from Bellingham, many many years ago. Maybe this is life changing, maybe its our environment, and maybe its both.

But when I think about what makes me happy, where I’d feel good, its in the middle of fields, in a house thats a little drive from the stores and the malls and well, even Target. Actually, it can be closer to Target than those other things. I guess I’m thinking of where I’d like to settle and what I want that to look like.

I think it’d be cool to plan a garden. I think it would be neat to look out around me and only see the lights from a few houses. I’d love to not see the UHaul Sign from across the street bright and blaring every night.

Like I said, nothings changing now, and probably not soon (until our landlords say it’s time to pack up!) But when they do, and when we have to start moving those boxes, I think I’d like it if we were still close to our family and friends, but close to the farms and fields too.