I need to go to Hawaii. Among other things.

My mom and I stood in her bathroom tonight trying on wigs that she bought for the impending head shave, and I realized several things.

First and foremost, I don’t really make an attractive blonde.

Secondly, I always thought I’d deal with crisis better.

I also thought I was really okay with it when Tony and I cancelled our vacation to Hawaii in December. But I think the thought of sunshine was actually really keeping me going for a while. Tonight, as Tony and I drove up to Mount Vernon, I looked outside at the cold, dark, gross brown snow, and then back at Tony, and

told him that I really think its an emergency that we take this trip. Apparently the crazed look in my eyes prompted him to agree. I think its okay to need some sun. I’m rebooking this weekend.

Lastly, I’m not sure if I know what it looks like to deal with things “healthily” anymore. I always thought a counseling degree would prepare me better to handle adversity, but apparently counselors are some of the craziest people out there. Oh well, at least we’re entertaining as we socially circle the drain.

I haven’t dealt with this whole ‘cancer’ thing that well. Then again, I’m realizing that I don’t even know what that would really look like. I’d really love for someone to tell me what it really looks like to deal with a parents illness in a good way, besides grabbing a glass of wine and not thinking about it.

But for now, until someone brilliant gives me all of the answers, I’ll peruse deals to Maui and pack my shorts.